I like most of your reasoning, but you seem to discount one aspect of annoyingness: how annoying it is to the cell phone holder. I mean, if your cell phone administered a small electrical shock to the cell phone holder, that would also satisfy all of your requirements, but would be incredibly annoying. I think I would find the cell phone calling my name to be annoying.

It could cause some funny situations where someone is actually calling my name and I think my phone is ringing, thus trying to answer my phone... and now the person thinks that I'm trying to ignore them by pretending that I got a phone call when I didn't.

Another possibility is to have a voice of some that is very familiar to you, like a family member or a close friend or significant other. I definitely can pick out voices that I know intimately almost as well as I can hear my own name in noisy situations. Of course, this equally gives an opportunity for humorous situations.