pmb: (kitty behind printer)
This is the kind of crap I have floating around in my head. And I wonder why I'm not as productive as I should be. More seriously, I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be able to leave work at the office. I mean, if I were able to do that, I would probably have some form of job, and I wouldn't simply laze around musing about research and the future and awful awful parodies...


Indolence

.

Indolence I've given you all and now I'm nothing.
Indolence $7.50 an hour November 21, 2005
I can't stand my own mind.
Indolence when will we do our part to stop the war
I don't feel like doing anything don't bother me
I won't write my paper til I'm in my right mind
...

Indolence when can I go into a conference and be greeted as an equal with only my vague ideas?
Indolence after all it is you and I who are perfect and not the next world.
Your machinery is too much for me.
You made me want to be a saint.
There must be some other way to settle this argument.
My advisor is in Tangiers I don't think he'll come back it's sinister.
Are you being sinister or is this some form of practical joke?
I'm trying to come to the point.
I refuse to give up my obsession.

...
My mind is made up. There's going to be trouble.
...

I'm addressing you.
Are you going to let your emotional life be run by Livejournal?
I'm obsessed with Livejournal.
I read it every hour.
My friends page stares at me as I slink by to arxiv.org and citeseer
I read it in the basement of the university library.
It's always telling me about the trials and tribulations of friends and acquaintances. Friends
are serious. Acquaintances are serious.
Everybody's serious but me.
It occurs to me that I am indolent.
I am talking to myself again.

Bureaucracy is rising against me.
I haven't got a chance.
I'd better consider my natural resources.
My natural resources consist of 20 years of education, dozens of half written papers, and an unpublishable private literature that goes 1,400 miles per hour.
I say nothing about any work experience nor the millions of underprivileged backs who support my house of cards.
...

... [bureaucracy] will make us all work 16 hours a day. Help.
Indolence this is quite serious.
Indolence this is the impression I get from reading my email.
Indolence is this correct?
I'd better get right down to the job.
It's true I don't want to work and turn out product, I'm a pedant and not good at taking direction anyway.
Indolence I'm pedaling my bicycle as fast as I can.

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October 2009

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